Listen to your body

All birthdays, especially the ones that mark the beginning of a decade are important milestones. However there is something much more significant about turning 40. There are so many changes in all facets of life, whether it's our career, the increasing independence of our kids, the increasing dependence of our ageing parents, the ever raising expectations on us and our energy and time from each and everyone. It's not easy.

Our own body which uncomplainingly stood fast by us for all these years also starts to demand attention. And this upsets us more than any other demand. The bodily changes that we see are substantial. It's all so confusing that we are almost like teenagers again. But the world that is sympathetic towards teenagers is not that kindly towards the middle aged uncles and aunties. Why blame the world, we ourselves aren't compassionate towards ourselves.

The hair doing a 180 degree turn to become white is trying to tell us something. It is the most visible sign that warns you to be prepared for other changes too. The heart beat that was steady before starts racing now and then. The joints that were flexible until now start getting stiffer. You get the picture right, things that should be tight start getting loose, and vice versa, LOL.

So, what can we do in this dire situation that seems to go downhill all the way? It's much easier if we have friends in the same boat with whom we can talk about these, cry together at times, or laugh it all away. It is also important that in addition to having friends, we need to raise up to the occasion and be our own best friend. Be kind towards our body, be accommodating to our changing moods, be gracious as we try and grapple with this new phase of life.

There will definitely be friends our age who are running marathons, or trekking up the Himalayas. Cheer for them, be genuinely happy for them. Applaud your friends who walks/runs/does yoga/gyms/strength trains/dances for an hour or so daily. Feel proud of them, lend them any support you can to help them achieve their goals. If it motivates you to try any of these physical activities, go ahead and give it a shot. It is nice to have little challenges to keep improving our physical and mental fitness. However let these efforts not turn into a comparison game with them. Each of us are blessed with different kind of abilities, and each of our bodies may respond differently as we age. So please, please listen to your body.

If you can't run a marathon, try running a mile. If you can't run a mile, try walking a mile. If you can't walk a mile, try climbing up and down the stairs in your house. Whatever works for you and your body. Remember, we need our bodies to be healthy and fit to carry us towards the rest of our life. And that is possible only by being kind towards ourselves.

Stop worrying

I have always been a worrier. A chronic worrier. And my worries multiplied exponentially after hitting my 40s. It's not that I worry about more things now, it's the same old things, health of self and family members being the top of the list forever, but the intensity of the worry increased so much that that itself became a part of my new worry.

I tried solving this in the only way that I know. Reading various self help blogs or books which can help me alleviate my fears. They would make me feel confident and secure for a few hours may be, and then the ugly head of worrying would start popping back again.

I was at a loss about what to do and how to fix this. And recently, I had a "slap in the face" realisation for my worry habit in the most unexpected of places. It was in a blog post by Joshua Becker where he brought out the similarities between Greed and Worry, and how they both keep us from living our best lives in the same way. The article points out that while the greedy want to intentionally hoard things for themselves, the worriers are not able to give away either money or time because they are scared of the future. Though the article is about being generous with your possessions and not let either greed or worry to come in way, it jolted me because he was comparing my worry habit with greed, a trait which I totally despise. He brought out the truth in open, by saying that whereas greed has far too many negative connotations, worry is rarely seen as a negative emotion. To quote him :

In fact, we sometimes use the phrasing with pride, “Oh, I’m just a worrier.” Or perhaps even more frequently in passing, “I’m just worried that…..” Worry, you see, is more culturally accepted than greed. Worry is seen as prudent and wise, even thoughtful at times. But don’t be fooled, there is a likelihood it is producing the exact same result in our lives as greed and selfishness.

And this harsh analogy brought me to senses. Am I cured then, of my chronic habit? I don't know. However, I am more hopeful now.

First post

Welcome to my "Funky Forties" blog.

I have started and abruptly stopped blogging many a times, so my only expectation from myself this time is to keep this blog going. Maybe have small updates, but to do it regularly, hopefully daily !

I just randomly named it Funky Forties, for the rhyme feel, and also for the strange meaning that the word Funky has. It can mean trendy or cool. It could also mean frightened or panicky. And I couldn't have come up with a better word to describe my forties, the aspiration vs. reality of it.